Borderline Personality Disorder

Spoiler alert!





In Glory in the Flower, the character of Mia is diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. It's odd... I've been both criticized and praised for my portrayal of the illness, some suggesting I don't know what I'm talking about, others finding it compelling.

I do, in fact, know what I'm talking about because I have it. I was diagnosed a decade ago, in a period in my life where I was every bit as angry, confused, frustrated, and vulnerable as Mia is in Glory in the Flower. It's a difficult and frightening disorder to have, because your thought patterns just don't match that of most of the world. You are seeing blue while everyone else insists it's green. Relationships are very difficult, because you generally see things in black and white, and you form strong attachments. It's normal to get separation anxiety when you're apart from someone you are close to. Your emotions are intense, all the time. It's a constant roller coaster. And it's a deadly one. A full ten percent of Borderline patients take their own lives. That's twenty times the rate of the rest of the population. I was not exaggerating Mia's symptoms in the book. She did what countless other Borderline patients have done.

I've had a lot of years of experience riding that coaster. I've taken a lot of treatment. I use medication to help manage the symptoms, but I also take other therapeutic treatments, including Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. Borderline doesn't get cured. You learn how to manage the symptoms, and you can reduce them a fair bit with good therapy. But you're always going to be a little bit different from everyone else. If you're lucky, the people in your life are understanding and compassionate and make the necessary adjustments to help you handle, just like they would speak up for a person with hearing issues, offer the leading arm to a blind friend, and help push a wheelchair-bound person over a rocky path. But it's never going to be a perfect fit, and part of learning to live with Borderline is accepting that. As the series goes on, I'm going to continue to explore Mia's experiences with the disorder, including the ups and downs of treatment and the difficulties of relationships. I'm not going to sugar coat what this illness does. It can devastate.

But the cool thing? There are some beautiful elements to Borderline. I feel things very intensely. I'm also bloody good at writing emotions. Perhaps there's a connection? Seeing and experiencing the world in a different way makes me a better writer. Borderlines are also ferociously loyal friends and romantic partners. And we tend to be rather charismatic and funny. Can be great party guests. We can be spontaneous and a whole lot of fun.

I want to remove some of the mystery and stigma surrounding the disorder through my presentation of Mia. I don't want people to fear their Borderline friends and relatives. I want them to learn to embrace them, to offer a helping hand, to see the good and help mitigate the bad. Hopefully, the next generation won't have to live with the same stigma that exists today.